The Battle Cry of Freedom

Mom has had it up to here with the health aides at her Rehab Center and wants to come home.  Yesterday morning, after a sleepless night, a very bossy aide would not let her stay in bed, helped her to dress and took her to the dining room.  On a rehab floor, the patients do not get breakfast in bed unless they are sick.  It went from bad to worse in the dining room.  After breakfast, Mom ( a Steve McQueen in a wheelchair) wanted to go to her room.  Another aide scolded her, saying 'you are not allowed to go to your room; get back to the table".  Mom moved the wheelchair, and the same aide said ' now you are blocking the way". 

When I arrived, I was greeted with an aria worthy of Floria Tosca--I have a Masters Degree; How dare these ignorant people talk to me this way; you give an ignorant person a bit of authority and they run wild, etc. 

Not to get too objective, but I can see both sides of the story.  The Dining Room is not a tranquil place during meals.  Dementia Patients tend to complain at the top of their lungs:  the food is terrible; the person next to them is terrible; the aides are terrible.  It is worse than a lunchroom filled with Kindergarten students, because a dementia patient cannot be threatened or cajoled into better behavior.  My theory is the aides transfer their frustration to the patients who will respond to their scolding, so Mom was, in a sense, paying the price for other peoples' misconduct.

On the other hand, I have seen Mom get very confused when she is overtired.  She does not follow directions very well, and often does the opposite of what she is told.  I can imagine her deciding to take another route to exit the room, instead of going back to the table, or moving her wheelchair in a very weird direction.  She's 83:  I do wish that aide had cut her some slack, but it is hard to be patient with a room full of elderly juvenile delinquents. 

My visit is going to be short, because I have to see my Endocrinologist this afternoon.  It is all a part of my strategy of being a non co-dependent caregiver.