Dance of the Caregiver

This dance is a cross between the Lambada, the Beer Barrel Polka and the Electric Slide.  It means I have to constantly change my approach to Mom.  She tends to change the rules, but does so without telling me.  So, I have to keep alert, and figure out what she really, really wants.  These mental gymnastics are far more exhausting than an hour of weight training.

Today, I had the morning planned.  I would change Mom's adult diaper in the bed, give her a sponge bath and get her dressed.  Wrong.  Mom opened the dance by getting into her wheelchair, before her Depends had been changed.  I saw this and asked 'what are you doing?". and she replied " I am going to get on the commode".  Why she did not just tell me " I need help to get on the commode' is beyond me.  Anyhow, I went and fixed a cup of tea.  After a 10 minute lapse, I said " what do you want to do?"  and she said " I don't know.  You are supposed to tell me, or nothing gets done".  I remarked 'you always get mad when I tell you what to do" only to be told " I don't do anything unless somebody is in charge".

So, I saw my opportunity, and got her onto the commode, cleaned her, and the commode.  Then she took a sponge bath, and got dressed.  I just love the idea that I am the boss.  Mom is a total control freak, and has fought me every step of the way, when I attempt to get her to do something she doesn't want to do.  Suddenly, when it suits her, I am the power and the glory.  Tomorrow, I will be the bad daughter who bullies her.