The Tao of Elizabeth

I've had some very unusual chats with Mom today.  Part of the problem is we are both sleep deprived, because Mom awoke about 6am, insisting that I phone her doctor, because her left leg was swollen. ( it's the leg with the open sore and cellulitis). Knocking the sleep out of my brain, I took a look, then at Mom's direction, took her temperature.  It was 96.8: normal for her. 

Figuring that the ER at the local hospital was still overcrowded, I decided to play for time.  I propped her left leg on a pillow, and said 'if your swelling hasn't gone down in two hours, we will go to the ER.  ".  Anyhow, the swelling ) line where her sock was, went down, so no ER.

Later that morning, Mom started talking about her latest obsession, the lady in the ER who was pretending to be my cousin, Jeanne.  She said ' I looked at her, and knew something wasn't right about her.  She had two left feet".  I asked 'was this a dream or did it really happen"?  Mom gave me a withering glare and said 'don't you think I know the difference?".  I said 'yes, but if you don't tell your daughters that it's a dream, they might think you are loopy". 

In the afternoon, I went to the kitchen to make tea for Mom.  She calls out from the dining room " I can see you, and you are sitting on top of the breakfront, with a small goatee.  No, I think you look like a werewolf or a bear"  I said 'that Birthday gift had better be good.  How can you see me if I'm in the kitchen?".  When I walked into the dining room, I realized that Mom was talking about my portrait: half of my face is in shadow, and it does look a bit like a five o clock shadow.  Yes, the portrait is next to the breakfront.

What have I learned today?  That robots impersonating people have an extra left foot, and some of Mom's more far out remarks aren't so far out if you look at the context.  Well, the three footed robot is a bit odd, isn't it?